Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

A woman goes into a hardware store and wanders around for a while and picks up a hinge. She wanders around a while longer and captures the attention of a clerk, who watches her. She finally settles down in one certain aisle, and just kind of hangs there. Eventually, the clerk walks over to her and asks, "Can I give you a screw for that hinge?" "No," she says, "but I'll give you a blowjob for that electric toaster."